Chic Vegan

A good majority of our human race wanders around aimlessly, searching for meaning and happiness. We feel uneasy and unsure.  We avoid new experiences and put off that special project for another day. We blame laziness, but it is something much more complex than that. It is fear. You are a big scaredy cat. And so am I.

What are we scared of?

Some people are frightened of heights. Some of cats. Some are even scared of pickles or balloons.  What I’m talking about is something more collective. I’m talking about the fear of change. People only truly want one thing out of life: happiness. With the exception of a few lucky individuals, people are not content with their lives. They come up with excuses like “Its not the right time”, “I don’t have enough money” or “I’m not talented enough.”   The truth is, the only thing that is holding you back is a deep, primal fear. At the very heart of it, this fear comes down to 2 things.

The vast infinity of the universe

When I was a kid, my brother decided to “blow my mind” one day and said..”Have you ever thought about what is past outer space? And what is past that? And where and how it ends?”  Whhhaaattt? Mind blown. I remember laying in the grass in my front yard (which I did often) and thinking of this. The feeling was overwhelming. I felt insignificant and helpless. I haven’t been the same since.

Many of you may not have had such an existential sibling to help with your mind expansion, but we all know the facts (or mysteries) of the universe. Deep in the back of our minds we know that we are floating helplessly in the middle of a big uncontrollable, unexplainable mix of light and gases. And that shit is scary.  But if you look at the big picture, you will find that knowing your insignificance helps you get over yourself and your little dramas. This leaves you free to follow your own path.

The fleeting nature of life

Almost everyone has had someone close to them pass away. It is the nature of life – everyone dies. We are constantly fighting off diseases and trying to live longer and look younger. Age is our enemy. Why? Death is the only thing that is certain so you would think it would be embraced. Unfortunately our culture evades this fact. We think that in order to live forever we must stay safe and comfortable.

The unknown is death to our ego. Taking a step outside of our comfort zone triggers a fight or flight response and our brain tells us that we should just remain where we are, doing what we know, regardless of our discontent.

How to punch fear in the face

As humans our egos don’t like anything that cannot be controlled. We fear uncertainty, and change is uncertainty. This is why we get stuck in life situations we really don’t enjoy – because changing those situations  is frightening. We don’t know anything about the future, because It hasn’t happened yet.  And Fear is anywhere you haven’t been. If you want to improve your life, you only have one choice: get over it.

Ignore that voice – Don’t listen to the little voice in your head that convinces you to avoid things. You know the voice: the one that tells you the bed is much more comfortable than the gym. The TV is much more exciting than writing your book. You can always do that later. Ignore it. It is called your ego and it does not know what is good for you. Pay attention to your instinct and your heart and you will never go wrong.

Just do it – Don’t question it. Don’t rationalize. Don’t plan. If you really want to do something just start doing it right now. Everything else will fall into place after that.

Scare yourself -  Face your smaller fears. Is jumping out of a plane the scariest thing you can think of? Do it. (with a parachute of course.)  Does public speaking give you the cold sweats? Start giving lectures.  Show your fears that you are greater than them.  After the dreaded task is done you will feel wonderfully amazing.

Stay on target – The clearer your objective is the easier it will be able to attain and the less fear can creep in. If you do not have a direct goal, the infinite possibilities you have can overwhelm and trigger your fear.

Think of the universe – When I start to get upset or scared or angry, I think of what my brother told me about the universe. I think of the fact that I am suspended in the middle of a big unknown and from not too far out, my seemingly huge planet is a tiny spec. This makes me realize that any choice I make is only a big deal inside of my brain. The only person who cares about my fears is me.

Header pic from EvanBrockett

Wolf pic from the Courage Wolf Meme Generator

I recently got a job offer from a friend of a friend. I’m just starting out in my full-time freelance career (I’m a website developer/designer) and was warned that her non-profit had a limited budget. Naturally I assumed that the lower the quote the better and that this contract would lead to bigger and better jobs. So I quoted a low hourly rate, and eventually received a response that they had gone with another developer. The friend of a friend also proceeded to tell me (confidentially of course.. well, until now!) that I was rejected because my quote was too low, and judging by my work I should have charged a lot more. This made her company uneasy, and the person they went with was now being paid 3x as much as my offer. Imagine that! She also said something along the lines of  “Don’t put yourself on sale.  Always ask for what you are worth.”  Through my bruised ego I responded with “Thanks for the advice. Good luck in the future.” but after a few hours of thinking I realized that what I really meant to say was “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I AM worth more! This has been the problem all along!”

One thing that I have steadily done in my professional career is work for cheap. I fell into a job making peanuts and stayed there for way too long although I knew I could do better. I never tried harder, and I most certainly never stood up for myself. Why? I think that most of us are raised with a poverty mentality. We think that cheaper always wins. We think that if we tough it out and pay our dues, one day we will be worth more. This couldn’t be any further from the truth. People equate dollars with quality – the higher the price the better the product. If you cheapen your value, whether it be your wages, your self esteem, or your relationship choices, people will consider you to have less value than the next person that holds themself in high regard.

When you put yourself on sale, the only person you are cheating is yourself. I realize now that if I keep working for cheap, and accepting any job just because they will take me,  I will never lead the happy life that I deserve. When you don’t believe in your worth some serious problems arise in your life.

You don’t work your hardest

I’ve always been in the habit of working just hard enough to get by. Nobody was paying me or encouraging me enough to work harder. Now I realize that I was doing it in reverse. You have to work hard and be passionate, then you will know what your worth is and money and encouragement will follow suit. Your work, yourself and your relationships become a standard, and you naturally will not stand for anything that doesn’t reach that standard.

You attract the wrong people

Story. of. my. life. I always seem to end up with clients that are flaky, have no idea what they want, have unrealistic goals, or do not know how to communicate effectively. Do you think that this has something to do with the low, low price I charge? Probably. If these people were seriously committed they would shell out the dough to ensure they get quality work done by a quality professional – who charges what they are worth. This also applies to relationships – if you don’t think much of yourself you will attract people that like to dominate those that don’t think much of themselves. Its amazing how the more confident you become, the more confidence you are given by the situations you find yourself in.

You send the wrong message

When you put yourself on sale you silently tell those that you are dealing with that your work is not any good. This is probably not true. You send the message of being unsure, and diffident. You wordlessly tell people that you don’t believe in yourself and THAT, my friends,  is never ,ever a good thing.  If you respect yourself you will respect your work, your relationships and your life. This will project the message of confidence, and everyone wins!

So I’d like to thank my friend of a friend for giving the unsolicited advice, because that job rejection was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I hope that I have paid it forward by posting this to help those of you that may need it!

Are you a veggie loner? Do your friends not share the joys of a cruelty free diet with you? Do you not have friends? Welcome to my world, people. Living in a new city makes it hard to make friends for anyone let alone someone who has limited social skills. Thankfully this wonderful thing we call the Internet is loaded with places for the veg-minded to chat with their brethren (or sistren). You can also find local vegan meetups where you can actually meet people IRL*. OMG!

Twitter and Facebook - Um yeah.. I’m sure you have these covered. But do you use them to find new like-minded people? On twitter, search out keywords and follow people with the same interests as you. Interact through Direct Messages and Mentions. On Facebook, join groups and pages of interest. Make sure to leave comments and interact with other group and page members.

Mr tweet on Twitter – Mr tweet will recommend people for you to network with via twitter, based on your interests and the people you are already following. Mr Tweet also has “communities” you can join or create to interact with others like you. There is a vegan community FYI!

Join a Tribe – Tribe.net lets you join or create “tribes” for events, interests, places and things. You can ask questions and interact on bulletin boards.  Everything is very location specific so you can make potential real friends!

Vegan World – Vegan World is exactly like Facebook (ok, maybe more like MySpace)  for herbivores. If you choose to network exclusively with vegans, this is the place for you!

Looking For Love? - Vegan Passions is an online dating service for lose looking for a bit of veggie love.

Veggieboards – Get into in depth discussions and meet interesting people on Veggieboards.com. Perfect for those that prefer slower paced communication with more in depth conversations.

Vegan Drinks - Vegan Drinks is a monthly event held in certain cities for vegans to get tipsy together at a designated bar. Check out the site to see if there is a Vegan Drinks near you. If not, create one!!

Meetup -  Join Meetup.com and search for events in your area. You can RSVP and get to know the people you are about to meet!

Do it the old-fashioned way – Go outside! Walk around! Go to coffee shops, museums, restaurants, parks. Strike up conversations. Even if you don’t find someone vegan, you will probably meet tons of new and interesting people!

Happy Socializing!

*IRL = In Real Life

Food is a crucial part of our survival on this crazy earth. Every day we choose how to nourish ourselves, and (hopefully) take into consideration the health, ethical and environmental impact our choices have. In recent times, food choices have become more complicated as well as more meaningful. But what happens when the person you spend the majority of your time with doesn’t have the same opinion as you?

There is much speculation about inter-dietary relationships.  Many think that existing in a relationship with anyone who does not share such an important and meaningful viewpoint is a huge no-no. Some think that as long as a relationship is respectful, varying ethics can happily coexist.  As with anything, the answer to this question is completely relative. It all depends on the situation and the individuals involved.

My Story

For the past four years I have been involved in a relationship with an omnivore. I myself, am a strict vegan.  How does that work?  With one word: respect.

When Doodlebug and I first started dating, I was an omnivore just like him, but with some slight food issues. I was allergic to seafood and refused to eat pork and red meat. Only a few months into our relationship, I began to look deeper into animal welfare and factory farming and decided one day, almost instantly, that I was going to be vegan. I believe I alerted him with a text message that said “I’m vegan now”.  Instead of running for the hills and searching for another mate with more mainstream eating habits, he questioned my intentions, asked how I was going to accomplish my vegan goal and said “I totally understand”. Ever since that day Mr. Doodles has eaten every vegan meal I have made with a smile, encouraged my activism and learned everything about vegan living there is to know. (I am totally aware that I am dating an exceptional human being. Most people would take the conflicting view of a loved one as a threat, but this guy understands, nourishes and believes. What a catch!)  But.. he is not a vegan. Although he eats meat and eggs on rare occasions, he truly enjoys vegan food, and understands and supports the mentality behind it. The choices he makes everyday are totally up to him and I choose not to judge them.  This rises the questions: If we are living our individual  lives as best as we can, does it really matter if we use labels like “vegan” or “omnivorous”? Do those words just put up invisible boundaries between people and make them feel guilty or confined by the choices they make?

Secrets to Make it Work

The choice to get involved in an inter-dietary relationship is all yours. You decide whether it is a big deal or not. However, if you choose to, here are some tips to make it work!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T – I can’t emphasis any more how much this means in any relationship, let alone those with conflicting morale. Respect the fact that the person you are involved with is an individual and makes his/her own choices. Do not scowl at their food or tell them that a baby cow was tortured for their glass of milk (even if it is true). On the other side of things, if your mate is constantly trying to convince you to eat meat or tries to make you feel insecure about your choices – straighten that chump out or get out of there. You deserve better than that.

Equal Opportunity Dining -Make sure to pick restaurants that both of you can enjoy. Check out the menu ahead of time either online or by calling to make sure there are options for everyone. At home, agree to certain rules and boundaries. I’m lucky enough to live with someone who does not desire to eat meat at home (as far as i know!). You may need to let your partner know what you are comfortable with and what just won’t do.

Pick Your Battles -Don’t waste your time arguing about small things. Soon into the relationship, establish what you both will and will not stand for. Your partner may not want you sneaking PETA lit into his briefcase or painting his leather shoes pink. You may not want him to pass off real meat as “faux” or analyze all of your actions to determine if they are “vegan” or not. Only put up an argument about issues that directly effect you or your relationship. Personal choices are off the table.. don’t touch them!

Understand – Understand why your partner chooses the lifestyle they do. Research it and even though you may not agree, try to accept the fact that it is part of who they are. The biggest mistake you can make in a relationship is trying to change the other person. Understand and love or don’t waste your time.

Try New Things – Be open to new facts, recipes, places, people, or things. Take up hobbies and start doing things that don’t involve food. See a movie you wouldn’t normally see, go to a bar on the “wrong side” of town. You will learn a lot about each other and learn to be more accepting and tolerant of things outside of your regular environment.

Does your lover eat and believe different things than you? How do you make it work?

Hi everyone, I’m Amanda from amoderngirlslife.blogspot.com and veganera.com. I am absolutely delighted to be invited as a guest blogger for Chic Vegan as I LOVE the site and love receiving the regular e-updates.  I’m 25 and live in sunny (well not so much lately) Noosa, Queensland, Australia.

As Chic Vegan is all about being vegan AND chic, I thought I’d share with you how we do this in the land down under.  Living in Australia as a vegan has its challenges.  For example, I was called Un-Australian on Australia Day because I was not eating a sausage and drinking a beer.  This is the mentality of the majority of Australians.  I’m not even joking – Aussies are bogans.  Ok, maybe that’s a little harsh but it seems like Australia is a little behind the rest of the world when it comes to leading a compassionate lifestyle or even an environmentally friendly one.  The papers are still riddled with ‘Is Climate Change Real or a Hoax?’ type of articles and many continue to ignore the signs all around us.  Unfortunately, it seems as though it will take an almost certain natural disaster that will wipe out or inflict damage directly to us before many people see the light.  No offence Australia.

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Nowadays everything is faster, better, and more efficient. While advancements in technology are always good for productivity, has anyone really stopped to think that maybe all this speed isn’t good for our psyche? How can you enjoy life when you are responding to emails at dinner and tweeting in the shower?  We find our selves comparing lives with everyone else and striving to capture “success” even if it means getting 3 hours of sleep and never seeing our families. Is this healthy?

It is proven that stress is the worst thing we can do to our bodies. It can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, and can make existing ailments much worse.  This is all because of our overloaded lifestyle – something we are completely in control of.  Why are we risking our lives to be better, faster,  and more successful?  The movers and shakers behind the Slow Movement think this is a serious problem and are trying hard to spread the word that a slow and steady lifestyle is really good for you and the rest of the world! (more…)

Are you a creative spirit, wanting to break free but you just don’t have the any fuel for your fire? Maybe you’re an aspiring photographer or fashion designer that just doesn’t know where to start?  Lucky for you, my friend, this beautiful thing we call the internet is loaded with resources to get your creative juices flowing. You really just need to know where to look.  Her are some great resources for almost every creative endeavor you can think of.  Ready… Set… Make!

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Now I’m going to preface this review by saying that to me, free stuff doesn’t automatically equate a review. It has to be a really high quality product coming from an ethically sound company.  A product that I would happily purchase on my own. That being said, I was lucky enough to get a HUGE box of delicious, protein-rich goodies in my mail box the other day. Primal Spirit Food’s Primal Strips meet all of the review requirements and oh-so-much more. These strips of deliciousness are particularly special to me because they arrived at a time when I needed them the most. They have literally helped me survive the past week. Let me elaborate. (more…)

Its that time of year again. That is right, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner – a day to show your special person exactly what they mean to you.

To be quite honest, this time of year leaves me rather torn. The liberal hippie deep inside of me hates the fact that it is obviously a corporate driven holiday designed to provoke mindless consumerism. But the romantic little girl even deeper inside of me really likes all the doting and chocolate involved.

Best solution? Heartfelt gestures that go beyond a mindless, last-minute purchase at the local mall. Here are some novel ideas. (more…)

I think you know all about my obsession with raw foods. There is something about the simplicity and the health benefits of a raw, vegan diet that really gets the minimalist/health nut in me going.  I have never committed any length of time to eating 100% raw, but starting today I’ll be embarking on a 30 day raw food journey! This idea is actually one of the goals I have set for myself in my 30 Things to do Before I Turn 30 mission. Being a huge self-improvement nerd, it was only natural that I do this.

Thankfully, I will not be embarking on this journey by myself. My ever adventurous, and devastatingly handsome life partner: Doodlebug will be doing this with me. Believe it or not, his omnivorous booty is totally into raw food too! I am glad to have the support because surprisingly enough the task of NOT cooking your food seems pretty daunting. Especially for someone like myself, who already has a jam-packed schedule. I’ll know more about the realities of this when I’m deeper into the 30 days. For now I’ll just cover the 3 initial phases – Shopping, Preparation, Execution! (more…)