Finding The Life You Have Always Wanted: A How To

Lately, goals have been a big part of my life. I have realized the profound impact of goal setting and how it can turn a listless life into one full of passion and direction. I recently wrote about How To Set (and Achieve) Any Goal which includes tons of wonderful tips on how to go about achieving goals.But for some people (ok, most people) the problem is figuring out what your goals really are. Perhaps you still haven’t found something that strikes your fancy. Maybe you have been stuck in a rut and have forgotten what you really wanted to do with your life. Whatever your situation is – we have all been there in one way or another. It is never too late to start exploring your life, finding out ways it can be better and then setting goals to get where you want to be.

Doodlebug and I have been partners in goal setting for the past few months and we have each researched different types of goal setting and self development techniques and have combined them all to make a Totally Effective System For Finding and Achieving The Life You Have Always Wanted. (I should probably shorten that, but for now it will do! ) We have been using this system, more or less, since deciding to move across the country back in January. It has been so amazingly effective that I just wanted to share it  and see if it works just as well for you.

Like anything else, you will need to be held accountable. Doing these exercises and setting goals with a friend or family member will help give you moral support and motivation. If you can’t find anyone willing, keep a blog to track your journey.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
~Larry Elder

Figure Out What Your Goals Really Are

For some people, this will be the hardest part, but it is crucial that it is complete before you move on. What you will need is a notebook, writing utensil, and at least an hour of undisturbed time.  Now sit down, relax, and think long and hard about these questions. Answer in a stream of thought and don’t judge anything that comes to mind. Answer these questions as if you don’t have any limitations with time, money, age or any other excuses your brain can conjure up.

What are 6 things you have already accomplished that you are proud of?
This doesn’t have to include any huge tasks or things that society would consider an achievement. These are things that you are personally proud of. Perhaps you are proud of graduating college, or being a wonderful mother, or that kick ass batch of vegan cupcakes you whipped up last weekend. The list should be a minimum of 6 things, but you can include much more!

What do you want in the next 10 years?
Again, the sky is the limit here. Where do you want to live?  how much money do you want to be making? Where do you want to travel? Who do you want to meet? What books do you want to read? Anything you can possibly think of can go on this list. Take your time and think this through. Like me, you might end up adding things to this list over the next couple of days.

Go through your list and decide how long each goal would take you to reach.  If it would take one year or less, add a 1 next to it. Same thing with 5 years and 10 years. When you are done.. each goal should have a 1, 5 or 10 next to it.

Select 4 goals from Year 1 that are most important to you.
This part might be the most surprising. I picked 2 things that I had no idea were so important to me. It only became obvious once I made my list was made and I truly evaluated it.

Write in full detail why each of these 4 goals are important to you.
The “why” is always, always, ALWAYS more important than the “what”. Without a strong and passionate “why” behind your goals, you will lose motivation and excitement for them.  Tangible outcomes (money, clothes, nice car) are nice and all, but should not be the driving factor behind how you live your life.
*After you do this with year 1, feel free to choose 4 goals from years 5 and 10 and write why they are important as well.

Ask yourself – “What kind of person must I become to achieve all of these goals and attain the life I want?”  Write the answer in detail.
When you drastically change your lifestyle, you drastically change yourself. Imagine yourself after you have already reached your goals. How are you different? Research people who live the type of life you want to live. What are they like? What is their daily mantra?  Picture yourself as the person you long to become and write it out in detail.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

~C.S. Lewis

Execute a Plan of Action

After you are done with all of this, make a chart of all of your goals. For Year One, list your top 4 goals at the top and highlight them. Underneath, list all of your other goals for year one. Make separate lists for years 5 and 10. There will be some shuffling around, and that is OK! The more you think about your goals, the more your ideals might change.  Here is a handy worksheet that you can use!

Pick two small goals every week to help you on your journey to grasping your first big goal. Write these goals down and keep them constantly visible. You can use these amazingly helpful Goal Cards. I place mine on my cork board behind my desk and Doodlebug puts his in his wallet. Wherever it will get the most attention is where it should go.

Every Sunday, Meet with your goal partner or write in your blog. Discuss or write about what your goals are for the upcoming week. Review your goal worksheet and make sure those goals are still in line with what you want. You may end up shuffling some things around. Write out your Goal cards for the week and place it in your special spot.

Meet with your goal partner or write in your blog again on Friday. Review your goals and  what you did this week to accomplish them. Talk about how these small goals and tasks are contributing to your ultimate big goal. If you completed the tasks on your goal card for the week, then take the day off on Saturday and celebrate!  If not, use Saturday to catch up on the things you didn’t achieve before you create new goals on Sunday.

Visualize

You can do this before or after any of the aforementioned steps. This is a side task, but it is very very important.

Any self development guru will tell you that if you can clearly visualize your ideal life and what it entails.. you can have it. So take a while to write out your ideal life. Take as many pages in your notebook as you need and describe things in great detail.. even if it may seem unnecessary. Cover each aspect of your life separately: Business/Career, Finances, Health, Social, Romance, Family, Spiritual. You can even go as far as planning out your ideal day or your ideal month. Just get a clear idea of what you really want, down on paper.

If you want to get deeply involved in visualization, you can make a vision board. (Vision boards were popularized by The Secret, which unfortunately led people to believe that if they hang pictures of a Porsche on their wall it will magically appear in their driveway a week later.) The real idea is to hang up photos and words that inspire you to reach your goals. Some things cannot be put into words and are best portrayed in visual form. As you come across images that resonate with your ideal life – photos of a sandy beach, people that inspire you, or a smiling family – hang them on a cork board, poster board or a  recycled cardboard box! The idea is to keep a visual representation of your goals in your sight at all times, so you don’t forget why you are doing this!

This may seem like a lot of work, but really, it is not. Every single second of it will be worth the opportunity to figure out your dreams and goals and start on a clear path to reaching them. This is the only life you have! Don’t get stuck in a world that you hate – create your ideal one. Good Luck to you! Go be amazing!

Files you may need for this project:

Goal Cards
You can print them at home or at Kinkos for cheap. Or you can make your own!
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Goal Worksheet
To review every week and make sure you are on the right path.
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