Punching Fear In The Face

A good majority of our human race wanders around aimlessly, searching for meaning and happiness. We feel uneasy and unsure.  We avoid new experiences and put off that special project for another day. We blame laziness, but it is something much more complex than that. It is fear. You are a big scaredy cat. And so am I.

What are we scared of?

Some people are frightened of heights. Some of cats. Some are even scared of pickles or balloons.  What I’m talking about is something more collective. I’m talking about the fear of change. People only truly want one thing out of life: happiness. With the exception of a few lucky individuals, people are not content with their lives. They come up with excuses like “Its not the right time”, “I don’t have enough money” or “I’m not talented enough.”   The truth is, the only thing that is holding you back is a deep, primal fear. At the very heart of it, this fear comes down to 2 things.

The vast infinity of the universe

When I was a kid, my brother decided to “blow my mind” one day and said..”Have you ever thought about what is past outer space? And what is past that? And where and how it ends?”  Whhhaaattt? Mind blown. I remember laying in the grass in my front yard (which I did often) and thinking of this. The feeling was overwhelming. I felt insignificant and helpless. I haven’t been the same since.

Many of you may not have had such an existential sibling to help with your mind expansion, but we all know the facts (or mysteries) of the universe. Deep in the back of our minds we know that we are floating helplessly in the middle of a big uncontrollable, unexplainable mix of light and gases. And that shit is scary.  But if you look at the big picture, you will find that knowing your insignificance helps you get over yourself and your little dramas. This leaves you free to follow your own path.

The fleeting nature of life

Almost everyone has had someone close to them pass away. It is the nature of life – everyone dies. We are constantly fighting off diseases and trying to live longer and look younger. Age is our enemy. Why? Death is the only thing that is certain so you would think it would be embraced. Unfortunately our culture evades this fact. We think that in order to live forever we must stay safe and comfortable.

The unknown is death to our ego. Taking a step outside of our comfort zone triggers a fight or flight response and our brain tells us that we should just remain where we are, doing what we know, regardless of our discontent.

How to punch fear in the face

As humans our egos don’t like anything that cannot be controlled. We fear uncertainty, and change is uncertainty. This is why we get stuck in life situations we really don’t enjoy – because changing those situations  is frightening. We don’t know anything about the future, because It hasn’t happened yet.  And Fear is anywhere you haven’t been. If you want to improve your life, you only have one choice: get over it.

Ignore that voice – Don’t listen to the little voice in your head that convinces you to avoid things. You know the voice: the one that tells you the bed is much more comfortable than the gym. The TV is much more exciting than writing your book. You can always do that later. Ignore it. It is called your ego and it does not know what is good for you. Pay attention to your instinct and your heart and you will never go wrong.

Just do it – Don’t question it. Don’t rationalize. Don’t plan. If you really want to do something just start doing it right now. Everything else will fall into place after that.

Scare yourself –  Face your smaller fears. Is jumping out of a plane the scariest thing you can think of? Do it. (with a parachute of course.)  Does public speaking give you the cold sweats? Start giving lectures.  Show your fears that you are greater than them.  After the dreaded task is done you will feel wonderfully amazing.

Stay on target – The clearer your objective is the easier it will be able to attain and the less fear can creep in. If you do not have a direct goal, the infinite possibilities you have can overwhelm and trigger your fear.

Think of the universe – When I start to get upset or scared or angry, I think of what my brother told me about the universe. I think of the fact that I am suspended in the middle of a big unknown and from not too far out, my seemingly huge planet is a tiny spec. This makes me realize that any choice I make is only a big deal inside of my brain. The only person who cares about my fears is me.

Header pic from EvanBrockett

Wolf pic from the Courage Wolf Meme Generator