My amazing girlfriends and I have always said, that the world of “self-improvement”, especially when it comes to diets, can make the most intelligent of us, a bit stupid.
Stupid things come out of our mouths, weird eating habits seem suddenly logical and, worst of all, stupid thoughts begin to occur inside our heads.
I consider myself a relatively switched-on lady. I’m competent in many areas of life, am a critical thinker and capable of logical thoughts. However, I’ve also been guilty of trying a soup diet, I’ve been guilty of calorie restriction and I’ve been guilty of pretending I can’t wear anything in my closet even though I don’t look any different than yesterday.
When in the world of dieting, my most basic and logical persona packs her eco-bags for a holiday and is replaced by a ditzy teenager who doesn’t understand basic things.
Hunger, for example.
When you’re hungry: eat. That’s logical.
A diet once convinced me to eat at specific times of the day. It’s true. And what followed was a conversation between the teenager and my body that went something like this: “what’s that body? You’re huuuungry? But it’s not technically your “meal time”; you have to wait another hour. Hmm… I feel a bit light headed. Wow, can’t wait to eat my “lunch meal”, like, I REALLY can’t wait. Wow….. what time is it?
Only half an hour till lunch…..
…..Only fifteen minutes….”
Oh the shame! That latest diet book clearly knows more about my own body than I do, right?
Don’t worry: logical me kicked ditzy teenager’s behind and is back for good. But, she’s concerned. She’s concerned because nearly every day she hears a female talk about food or her body in a way that sounds like there’s a ditzy teenager trapped in there.
What was that, boss whom I work for? You’re only eating 1,200 calories a day at the moment? But you’re a beautiful, intelligent woman who owns her own business, how can you think that’s logical? You probably expelled 500 calories having that last argument on the phone! And you’re doing a step class tonight?
It seems that most women I know are attempting some form of self-improvement, sometimes at the detriment of their basic happiness, or health! And, is it any wonder? We are continuously bombarded with new eating ideas, celebrity diets and unrealistic body images to live up to. It’s no surprise we get overwhelmed! One week we are told to eat tofu, the next week soy is the devil. One week we are told coffee drinkers live longer, but our favourite green goddesses say “no” to all caffeine!
I’m scared that we live in a world that’s making us obsessed with self-improvement, often unnecessarily. A world where intelligent women are being educated by magazine articles on what their emotional energy should be used for (and picking up some crazy ideas along the way). Obviously there are many women who do not buy into any of this, but sadly, they seem to be in a minority. Whenever I do meet a truly confident woman, I find it refreshing! It shouldn’t be a refreshing experience.
When do we have time to stop and smell the roses? Why are we being told to constantly change and improve and be better? I cannot indulge in some trashy celebrity gossip without being bombarded with all the reasons why I should be thinner, no, curvier! Be fitter, no, be smarter! I understand that’s the magazine business, but why do we buy the irrational ideas they sell us?
One of my favourite sayings has always been: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
At 2am last night, this question hit me (in quite a comical fashion): does this old saying perfectly describe most womens’ relationship with self-acceptance and their bodies?
We spend so much time obsessing over some perfect end result, whether it be weight loss, a “glow” promised by our favourite author, toned arms, better energy or the perfect nights’ sleep, that we forget to stop and take wonderment in the woman we are right now. Wonderment in simple things – like having two arms and two legs? Wonderment in big things like: wow – I’m a vegan. That’s pretty amazing. Wonderment in relationships? Tonight I sat and talked to that colleague after work for ages about her boyfriend even though I was buggered. That was a good thing to do! And maybe more important than having the perfect 8 hours sleep?
If we stopped to do this more often: is it scary to think that our current “goal” would be more easily reached? Or perhaps even void completely? Without ourselves as a project, do we then have to move on and do something else?
I cannot regret all of my crazy phases, because they led me to “Skinny Bitch”, which led me to veganism and now I could not be happier with food or my body. Ironically, I’m sure my body hasn’t changed that much, but what has changed is everything else. Food has a different purpose now: helping the planet, making a stand, protecting animals. My “diet” is about so much more than trying to look good! When food developed a purpose other than what it could do for ME, my life changed dramatically and I’m grateful for that every single day.
If there is something about your lifestyle that you really want to change – of course, change it. But if you find yourself constantly finding a new thing to improve – maybe start to question? Stop, smile and revel in your current brilliance. Once my health and diet was easy, I realised that I would look for a new project, whether it be getting optimal sleep, dragging myself a fitness class when I was exhausted or making my own face cream in my kitchen.
All of these things can be good, but I have begun to question why I’m always trying to “better” myself. Why can’t I just be great as I am? And ironically, when I let go of trying desperately to get enough sleep, that’s when sleep became easy. When I let go of trying to loose weight, only then did I look in the mirror and feel happy with my body.
I guess…..it’s actually just logical.